Should married couples have personal friends or couple friends? I often hear friends make statements about needing friends, wanting more friends, and desiring "girl time". Since the pandemic of 2020, I have found a renewed passion to strengthen my marriage relationship. During the past two years, we have remodeled two rooms of our home, made the decision to homeschool our children, and we have found ourselves spending most of our time together now that he is not working outside the home. With all the family togetherness, I have found that instead of desiring to be around others, I would rather do something quiet for myself. Is it wrong to not be focused on relationships outside the home? Or am I in a unique situation as a homeschooling mother; always with my beloveds and not needing filled by others?
What does the bible say about friendships and the need for "relationship"? As I researched this topic online and reviewed verses in the bible, I found that relationship is key to our health. Not only relationship with God, but with others. The bible tells us to be unified with others in Christ. It calls us toward service for others. It says to not forsake the gathering of the saints. In the same token, it states that husband and wife are to cling to one another and are a reflection of Christ and His bride (the Church). In Job, it reflects the conversation of four friends during a troublesome time. Whether Job invited these friends over to ponder his situation or not, we really do not know, but it does state that they were friends of Job's. Ruth, Mary, Moses, and many other historical figures of the bible had deep friendships; someone they could count on to walk life with them. But isn't that what marriage is for?
Marriage is supposed to be the outward symbolism of Christ and the Bride of Church. The Word of God continuously tells us to lean on God for understanding and to not rely on ourselves. Wouldn't this mean, I should seek wisdom from God and my spouse? We are one, right? We are unified. Why would I need to have relationships outside of our home?
If we take Jesus as the model for relationships, who did he walk closest with? God! He taught the disciples, ate, drank, and traveled with them, but His goal was to show the truth of the gospel to all through His life actions. There were many times that the disciples did not understand Jesus. I imagine there were times He felt lonely, but His eyes were on God and the plan set before Him.
Each of us has a plan that is set before us. The only one who truly knows this plan, is God Almighty. Do we have to have relationship with others to find our purpose? No! However, God gave us the gift of relationship to lift each other up, to encourage one another, and to keep one another accountable. Do I need someone other than my husband to do this? God has given us fellow believers, yet I believe my husband can be the main authority of wisdom in my life, if he is following after the Lord and seeking wisdom from the Lord on high. If this is untrue of my husband than I may need to seek out that relationship from another.
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