A job is a great thing. It brings in money so we can put food on our table, keep a house over our head, pay our bills and keep our vehicles in commission. However, there is one ugly thing that I have found out about myself when I have a job; I seem to be more concerned with pleasing the students, administration, parents, co-workers, staff, etc. rather than concerned about my family or about God's desires.
I've shared that, in the past, I was not doing things right when it came to my family. God continuously was tugging at me telling me to wake up, pay attention to your family or before you know it they will be gone. I did not listen and I continued to choose to worry about other things and how I looked to others instead of my family. If any of you know me well, you know how that ended up. Well, at the time, it felt like the end of the world, but now, reflecting back, it was a gift. As my husband put it the other day when I saw my former boss, "Did you thank her for the blessing?". Made me laugh in sarcasm for a moment, but then as I reflected on his words, it held some very strong truth.
I'm not saying our situation has been easy, but I will say that we have a house over our heads, food on the table, gas in the vehicles and we are able to turn on the heat (it's about 50 degrees this AM) and not worry about being able to pay for it. So, all in all, yes, I need to be grateful for God "pulling the plug" on my career and allowing me the blessing of slowing down and being part of my families life.
With that said, I still work, part time, and I have found myself slowly slipping into a world where my job and what others think is more important than being "in the moment" with my family. For example, this AM I woke up determined to read God's Word, start my new bible study (The Resolution for Women) and eat a healthy Atkins breakfast. While getting Jonah ready for school, work continued to creep into my mind. "You need to get those tests graded that were submitted last night. You don't want the students complaining about not knowing their final grades? You need to get the rest of the papers graded that were submitted Friday or the students will complain that you take too long to grade their papers and they don't know their grades. What if they complain to the Dean? What will he think? Will I lose my job because I'm taking too long?". There are possibly two reasons for this type of thinking:
1. I'm trying to stay clear of what God is wanting to do in my life by focusing on things that are not important or
2. Satan knows God has a work to do in my life and is trying to keep me from knowing the plan.
Either way, my internal dialogue went like this: "No! You need to stop putting worldly issues before God. You heard the stats that Pastor Chuck stated yesterdat. 16% of professed Christians read their bible daily; 35% read their bible at least once a week and 37% feel that what they read in the bible applies to their daily lives. I don't want to be statistic! I know that God's Word is powerful! I know that it is "God breathed" and I know that through Him he will take care of all those little worldly cares that I think are so important and more important than Him. If I get into His Word and listen to His voice, my day will go better than if I put Him off!".
So, here I am. The first chapter of The Resolution for Women put into reality what this book would cover and prepared me for hard questions and thoughts. The first of which was, "Every Bit Counts". How do I see life? Do I see it as the next goal to reach or do I savor the moment. Too often I find myself focusing on the next goal or accomplishment... what next? The author challenged me to look at my life and really see if I am savoring the moment. Honestly, I'm not very good at taking time out and focusing on the moment. I'm always in a hurry for the next thing; anxiously waiting for next month, another chance to try and conceive, anxious for the next weekends yard sale to see if we can raise the money for our passports, anxious to see Jonah's school pictures this year that haven't even been taken yet, hurrying for the next weekend Josh is off so we can do something together, hurrying to get through my bible study so I can focus on grading papers, the list goes on and on.
How much of my son's life have I already missed by focusing on other things, worldly things and concerns of others? How much time has been wasted focusing on others needs instead of spending time reading God's Word as a family and in my own daily devotions? How many blessings and opportunities to reach others for Christ have I missed out on because I was so focused on what needs to be done next and not focusing on what God's plan is for me?
The past 6 weeks I was doing a study on Holiness and I was constantly struck with the question, "Do I live a holy (set apart/different) life that is reflective of Jesus Christ?". What do people see when they observe me? We know that actions speak louder than words, what are they seeing? Do I amplify a life of Christ or do I amplify a life of Melinda (selfishness)? With my family, do others see me as a person who puts others even above my family? You know the saying, "God, family, others, self", do I follow that saying? Am I set apart?
Of course I'm called to be set apart and I know that I cannot set myself apart, but only through God can His light shine through. Only through Him can I live a life that is different from the world. Only His power can make me "different". So, how do I become different? I can't do it by just thinking of God, but I have to truly be in His Word, I have to be in deep conversation with Him, a prayer time that is more than 30 seconds long. I need to spend time with my Lord and Saviour in order for my life to make a difference for Him. He will then give me the power to put my priorities straight and He will assure all is accomplished as it should be. He will bless my time if I give Him my time.
As I wrote the sentence above, I reflected on what Josh and I say about what God has taught us about the money we receive; it is God's money that He entrusts to us to be good stewards of. If we are faithful with what money God gives us (tithe), He is faithful to take care of our needs. So, isn't it the same with the rest of my life and my time? If I give to God the time that is His, won't He give me the time to take care of my family and my job?
So, as I finish writing my thoughts for this moment, I will resolve to a few things and I want each of you to keep me accountable:
I resolve to:
1. Have a quiet devotion with God each morning where I give Him my full attention, read His Word and listen to His guidance.
2. Give my family the time they deserve with my full attention on them.
3. Trust that God will give me the time to accomplish the things that matter to others (grade papers) when I give Him and my family the time they deserve.
Dear Gracious Heavenly Father,
Thank you for setting me straight and reminding me that the worldly things will be taken care of if I take care of the spiritual needs first. Thank you for reminding me that I'm on this Earth to serve you and to be bring glory to you and not to myself. Help me to constantly reflect on what Your desire is for me and for my family. Help me to be Your feet and hands in a world that is in such desperate need of Your love and the salvation that can only be found through You. I am your feet and hands Lord, please use me today as I head out into the world. I am your tool, give me the strength to be kind, loving, compassionate, slow to anger and delete my selfish ambitions. Use this day to bring glory and honor to You.
In Jesus Name Amen.
I've shared that, in the past, I was not doing things right when it came to my family. God continuously was tugging at me telling me to wake up, pay attention to your family or before you know it they will be gone. I did not listen and I continued to choose to worry about other things and how I looked to others instead of my family. If any of you know me well, you know how that ended up. Well, at the time, it felt like the end of the world, but now, reflecting back, it was a gift. As my husband put it the other day when I saw my former boss, "Did you thank her for the blessing?". Made me laugh in sarcasm for a moment, but then as I reflected on his words, it held some very strong truth.
I'm not saying our situation has been easy, but I will say that we have a house over our heads, food on the table, gas in the vehicles and we are able to turn on the heat (it's about 50 degrees this AM) and not worry about being able to pay for it. So, all in all, yes, I need to be grateful for God "pulling the plug" on my career and allowing me the blessing of slowing down and being part of my families life.
With that said, I still work, part time, and I have found myself slowly slipping into a world where my job and what others think is more important than being "in the moment" with my family. For example, this AM I woke up determined to read God's Word, start my new bible study (The Resolution for Women) and eat a healthy Atkins breakfast. While getting Jonah ready for school, work continued to creep into my mind. "You need to get those tests graded that were submitted last night. You don't want the students complaining about not knowing their final grades? You need to get the rest of the papers graded that were submitted Friday or the students will complain that you take too long to grade their papers and they don't know their grades. What if they complain to the Dean? What will he think? Will I lose my job because I'm taking too long?". There are possibly two reasons for this type of thinking:
1. I'm trying to stay clear of what God is wanting to do in my life by focusing on things that are not important or
2. Satan knows God has a work to do in my life and is trying to keep me from knowing the plan.
Either way, my internal dialogue went like this: "No! You need to stop putting worldly issues before God. You heard the stats that Pastor Chuck stated yesterdat. 16% of professed Christians read their bible daily; 35% read their bible at least once a week and 37% feel that what they read in the bible applies to their daily lives. I don't want to be statistic! I know that God's Word is powerful! I know that it is "God breathed" and I know that through Him he will take care of all those little worldly cares that I think are so important and more important than Him. If I get into His Word and listen to His voice, my day will go better than if I put Him off!".
So, here I am. The first chapter of The Resolution for Women put into reality what this book would cover and prepared me for hard questions and thoughts. The first of which was, "Every Bit Counts". How do I see life? Do I see it as the next goal to reach or do I savor the moment. Too often I find myself focusing on the next goal or accomplishment... what next? The author challenged me to look at my life and really see if I am savoring the moment. Honestly, I'm not very good at taking time out and focusing on the moment. I'm always in a hurry for the next thing; anxiously waiting for next month, another chance to try and conceive, anxious for the next weekends yard sale to see if we can raise the money for our passports, anxious to see Jonah's school pictures this year that haven't even been taken yet, hurrying for the next weekend Josh is off so we can do something together, hurrying to get through my bible study so I can focus on grading papers, the list goes on and on.
How much of my son's life have I already missed by focusing on other things, worldly things and concerns of others? How much time has been wasted focusing on others needs instead of spending time reading God's Word as a family and in my own daily devotions? How many blessings and opportunities to reach others for Christ have I missed out on because I was so focused on what needs to be done next and not focusing on what God's plan is for me?
The past 6 weeks I was doing a study on Holiness and I was constantly struck with the question, "Do I live a holy (set apart/different) life that is reflective of Jesus Christ?". What do people see when they observe me? We know that actions speak louder than words, what are they seeing? Do I amplify a life of Christ or do I amplify a life of Melinda (selfishness)? With my family, do others see me as a person who puts others even above my family? You know the saying, "God, family, others, self", do I follow that saying? Am I set apart?
Of course I'm called to be set apart and I know that I cannot set myself apart, but only through God can His light shine through. Only through Him can I live a life that is different from the world. Only His power can make me "different". So, how do I become different? I can't do it by just thinking of God, but I have to truly be in His Word, I have to be in deep conversation with Him, a prayer time that is more than 30 seconds long. I need to spend time with my Lord and Saviour in order for my life to make a difference for Him. He will then give me the power to put my priorities straight and He will assure all is accomplished as it should be. He will bless my time if I give Him my time.
As I wrote the sentence above, I reflected on what Josh and I say about what God has taught us about the money we receive; it is God's money that He entrusts to us to be good stewards of. If we are faithful with what money God gives us (tithe), He is faithful to take care of our needs. So, isn't it the same with the rest of my life and my time? If I give to God the time that is His, won't He give me the time to take care of my family and my job?
So, as I finish writing my thoughts for this moment, I will resolve to a few things and I want each of you to keep me accountable:
I resolve to:
1. Have a quiet devotion with God each morning where I give Him my full attention, read His Word and listen to His guidance.
2. Give my family the time they deserve with my full attention on them.
3. Trust that God will give me the time to accomplish the things that matter to others (grade papers) when I give Him and my family the time they deserve.
Dear Gracious Heavenly Father,
Thank you for setting me straight and reminding me that the worldly things will be taken care of if I take care of the spiritual needs first. Thank you for reminding me that I'm on this Earth to serve you and to be bring glory to you and not to myself. Help me to constantly reflect on what Your desire is for me and for my family. Help me to be Your feet and hands in a world that is in such desperate need of Your love and the salvation that can only be found through You. I am your feet and hands Lord, please use me today as I head out into the world. I am your tool, give me the strength to be kind, loving, compassionate, slow to anger and delete my selfish ambitions. Use this day to bring glory and honor to You.
In Jesus Name Amen.
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